Every now and then I lock myself in the basement of the library to see how productive I can be. I’ve always had trouble focusing on what’s important, and spend more time on things that are also somewhat important, but shouldn’t take priority. Like this blog. That’s right, coming to you live from the Purchase College Library, in these small, tight rooms called “the cages” where miserable college students hopelessly hang on to any strand of motivation left to get their work done for finals week. Christmas is in the air, or rather the speakers at Starbucks, but the holiday spirit is put on hold until exams are over.
Shout out to the people who are still able to be in the holiday spirit. I envy you. It’s been a long time since I was excited for Christmas, and I thought either I’m depressed or I’m growing up. Turns out it was both, but being away from home once the holidays start is a huge factor as well. Thanksgiving break lasts as long as my mashed potatoes and gravy (savory, but I’m still craving more), and winter break is nice until I’ve finished binge-watching "Twin Peaks" and "Black Mirror" for the umpteenth time.
I’m bad at breaks. I don’t know what the word “relax” means. I either become lazy or drive myself into a work coma, tirelessly typing at my keyboard to see what comes out. Then before I know it, it’s Christmas, and I’ve spent the money I was supposed to save for presents on food and useless shit, ripping myself a new one for how bad I am at saving money.
But, I’m not bad at everything. That’s where my book comes in; "Bad at Everything" is a love letter to myself, even though it opens with A List of Things I’m Bad at, which is self-explanatory, but the rest of the book is honest—and it’s about getting better.
We all think we’re bad at something just because other people are succeeding in it. Maybe it turns out we weren't meant to do it in the first place. However, with the right patience and practice, we eventually become better. I’ve taken ballet, karate, soccer, the viola, singing, acting, guitar, and a whole list of other shit, and what happened? I gave up because I either wasn’t into it, or I saw other people who were better and doubted myself. Writing, however, was the one thing I never gave up. "Museum of Mistakes" had the theme of looking back at past mistakes; "Bad at Everything" is embracing those mistakes and saying “okay, how can I be better? What’s my next move?”
It’s never too late to try something new, or pick up something you once loved and do it again. Who knows, maybe you'll be better than you were before. And speaking of trying new things, maybe before my undergrad is over I’ll finally get this “study” thing down…